March Madness – Friday Night Results

Another full day and night of drama and action here at HESSET64FCBHV, as it wrapped up the first round.  Let’s review the results.

In the DC Hero Bracket played in Midway City, #5 Martian Manhunter took on #12 Booster Gold.  The fight was typical at the beginning (punch, clever retort, punch, recite origin story, etc.), but the match turned when J’onn used his shape-shifting abilities to mimic Booster’s appearance.  Unable to tarnish his own image, Booster withdrew.  Skeets is relieved.

Just too much power overwhelmed #13 Black Canary when she faced #4 Green Lantern in the second match in Midway City.  The force of GL’s imagination and willpower quickly contained the martial artist and deafened her scream.  GL and Martian Manhunter will face off Sunday in the next round.

Seed #7 Captain Marvel and #10 Atom faced off in Radiant City, and the fight turned into a lesson in brain anatomy as the Atom snuck inside Shazam’s skull, and tinkered with his frontal and temporal lobes.  Beyond his control, the Big Cheese screamed out “SHAZAM!” and found himself Billy Batson again.  Match goes to the Atom.

No amount of intelligence and preparation could help #15 Oracle overcome the cunning and stealth of #2 Batman.  Unable to call upon her allies, Oracle found herself at the mercy of the Dark Knight.  When offered, Batman accepted Oracle’s surrender.

Equally overmatched was #16 Deadpool in Duckburg facing #1 Black Bolt.  A contrast of verbal stylings, Black Bolt ended the match with the whisper of “overexposed.”

One of the more evenly matched contests of the day was #8 Emma Frost and #9 Invisible Woman.  Despite concerns the Sue Storm may have been ranked higher than appropriate she was a more than even physical match for the White Queen.  But Emma’s mental abilities eventually wore down Sue, and she will face Black Bolt in the next round.

In Capital City, #6 Wolverine tangled with #11 She-Hulk.  Despite her exceptional strength, wit, and humor, Wolverine is just too much for She-Hulk.  It appears that the old adage is true – the taller they are, the harder they fall.  Down goes Jennifer and the little fellow moves on.

The battle between the always honorable #3 Captain America and #14 Beast was for the most part uneventful, despite the non-stop chatter of Beast.  Cap is able to take down Hank with a well-placed glancing blow that simply knocked out Hank.  Sleep well Beast – Cap moves on to face Wolverine.

Moving onto the less gentle and gentlemanly Villains Bracket, Coast City was the host for the contest-that-never-was between #1 seed Lex Luthor and #16 Cheetah.  Cheetah never showed up for the match, and I’m sure Lex had nothing to do with it despite the smug smile.  Luthor moves on by default.

Coast City was entertained by the Battle of the Os when #8 Despero and #9 Metallo tangled.  Despite the technological advantages enjoyed by Metallo, Despero’s hypnosis proved too much.  By the end of the match, Metallo had the uncontrollable urge to cluck like a chicken whenever the audience applauded.  Despero will face Lex Luthor – if he makes it there.

In Civic City, #5 Vandal Savage and #12 Deathstroke fought, and while Deathstroke certainly had the tactical, hand-to-hand, and weaponry advantage, Vandal’s immortality and historical insight has taught him patience.  That patience capitalized on Wade’s building frustration, and Deathstroke was dashed.

The last of the DC Villain battles was between #4 Sinestro and #13 Doomsday, and the being that killed Superman was easy pickings for the greatest lantern of all.  Summoning upon the unknown depths of power of the white ring, Sinestro will face Vandal Savage next in the battle of the despots.

In The City, #5 Ultron and #12 the Purple Man confronted each other and while Ultron had all the advantages, it was the Purple Man who comes through.  Ultron’s body and circuitry is designed to protect it from physical damage, but Zebediah Killgrave’s pheromones were able to penetrate the armor, and he took control of Henry Pym’s robot.  One self-destruction sequence later, the Purple Man moves on.

Whether it was actually Victor von Doom or a Doombot, it didn’t matter in the lopsided victory over #13 Sabretooth.  Seed #4 Dr. Doom’s armor was able to withstand the torrent of slashes, bites, and mauls before sending a knock-out electric shock.  Dr. Doom and the Purple Man face off in the next round.

In Mouseton, the battle between #7 M.O.D.O.K. and #10 Red Skull was one of flawed strategy.  Red Skull decided the best approach was to stay out of M.O.D.O.K.’s reach (a relatively simple task), but forgot about the mental beam.  M.O.D.O.K. wins over Crispy Skull.

An argument can be made that Kang, at #2, is ranked higher than he should be, but he has no trouble dispatching #15 Venom.  Kang’s brought along his ultra-diode ray-gun using it to separate the symbiote and its host, and paralyzed both.  Kang will face M.O.D.O.K. next.

More action tomorrow!


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